Never Lose Hope

This is the communication device that every Air Traffic Controller (29,000?) in the United States owns and uses every single time they work.  This means a lot to me.  Likewise, Oregon State University, as seen on the right of this photo, also means a great deal to me.  Although, the latter I currently have in my life, and the other I simply have a strong desire to pursue some day.  

I currently have 39 days until I leave for field training.  My biggest question that does not have anything to do with training is who will even notice that I am gone?  How I will ever know who notices will also be a difficult question to answer.  Then again, what does it matter?  Some things are bette left unanswered.  

This term, like many previous terms, has been a struggle.  I am simply exhausted, and not receiving the grades that I am wanting, and need.  One second I pull a C on a midterm, and the next a B+ in a different class.  I will survive, and I will be alright, but not without minor failures along the way.  

My mindfulness is slacking a bit right now, I am not sure why.  I need to continue to fully comphrehend and process everything that happens in my life to ensure that I do not skip a beat. This will be critical for success at field training.  

Once again, I am slightly letting my priorities slip from my grasp, but I still have time to pull those back in and get down to business.  If I have anything to say about this, which I do, I will not falter, and I will not fail.  What will be my biggest motivation?  That is something that I usually rely on my friends for, but for this situation, I am not entirely sure how I am going to keep pushing myself.  I have a feeling that someone will step up and keep me on my toes.  

At the same time, it is constantly important to not let people pull you down.  This is critical in times like these.  Soon enough, there will be zero tolerance for distractions.  This is a dangerous profession, and requires total commitment.  Insensitivity is a common behavior, and will come in handy later on.  

I will simply keep pushing on, and I will always remember that patience is a virtue.  Everything happens for a reason.  Keep calm and carry on.   The grass is greener on the other side.  Everything is easier said than done, but with time, everything will eventually get better, only if you let it.  

Never lose hope.  Even if you don’t know what you are hoping for.  Never, ever, say never.  (If you know what I mean).  

In only four weeks, I could be preparing to graduate next year.  But instead, I will be preparing to either become a junior all over again, or become a senior who is taking a victory lap.  However you look at it, keeping one thing in mind will be paramount.  

I need to remember not to grow up too fast.  I am constantly pondering life as if I am going to die tomorrow.  In a sense, this is something that we all should do.  Carpe diem.  But in this sense, I am continually planning my future, trying to be as efficient in life as possible.  While it is good to not waste time in life, it is also important to not let the daily hustle blind you of the sun setting every evening.  

Like anything, I need to find the equilibrium between living today, and preparing for tomorrow.  I am happy to be attending college for a victory lap because it gives me time to relive an entire year.  I will have no regrets about my college years, I will challenge myself, I will step outside my comfort zone,  I will take chances, and I will help others more than I ever imagined I would.  

This might be a good time to note that when I say “you”, I am often referring to myself.  That is not to say that the things I say cannot be applied to others, but I by no means intend to preach to anyone.  

It is important to be mature, but it is also important to be a college kid while I can be.  Soon enough, I will be entirely on my own left in this individualistic society with only my knowledge to get me to where I want to go.  

Carpe diem and never lose hope.  

Adversity is self explanatory.  One needs not an elaborate explanation for the meaning behind adversity, the concept is as simple as the definition.  

It is 52 days until I leave for Alabama.  Fifty two days to prepare for one of the hardest, if not the hardest thing that I have ever endured in my life.  In 52 days, I will be ready.  Right now I am living the life and hardly focusing on school as much as I know I should be.  But I know what I am capable of, and I know that when it comes to business, I will get the business done.  Period.  

It is one thing to say something, but it is another to believe what you are saying.  A lot of people say things, sometimes the things come straight out of their ass.  I strive for integrity, the passion to believe even what I say.  This is not a bashing on an individual, or individuals, rather a self check on myself to believe what comes from within and is expressed.  I know that everything happens for a reason, i’ve said it a million times.  But do I really believe it?  That is only something only I can determine.  

I can be pissed all I want on the inside, but I am the only person who can mend that attitude and emotion.  It’s up to me to figure it out, and indeed I will figure it out and get over it.  Sometimes you have to let things go, to have them come back to you some day.  I have been there, done that, and it does happen.  Prosperity will not always be in your favor in life.  Occasionally one will have to let go of something they adore, a car, boat, hunting season, or a career.  Once you let go, you let the opportunity of it coming back someday to flourish.  So let it go, and go about your day.

 Life is confusing, complex and misleading.  Honesty is the only thing that will ever make life a little easier to understand.  Be honest every single day, because some day, honesty will pay off, just like simply living life will pay off in the end.  In the cycle of living, you get to the curve called hope.  In the hope phase, 

you just never lose hope.  

Who would have thought that I would say that?  

52 days…LESGO. 

It has been a while.  Over a year since I begun this journey.  It is truly amazing to see what I have accomplished in only one year.

 I could be at the University of North Dakota, flying airplanes for class, and landing and departing aircraft on the world’s most advanced simulator.  I could have failed to receive my enrollment allocation yet again, and be on the road to who knows where.  Indeed it has been a long year, with many highs and many lows.  In the past year I have failed, and succeeded as well.  

I received my EA this year, earned my private pilots certificate, took a vacation to Hawaii in the middle of a term, and so much more.  Junior year has proven to bring adventures, inside and outside of the classroom.  As I mature into Junior year #2, it is essential to constantly align the things in my life to sustain optimal happiness.  Nothing comes easy, and nothing ever will.  If you want to be happy, you have to work for happiness.  

I am so unsure of what is coming next in life.  I know my agenda, but the details are vivid. I only hope that the journey to somewhere is fulfilling, satisfying, and worthwhile.  Nothing is ever forever, but everything happens for a reason.  Never burn bridges.  

And never lose hope.  

I have made a lot of outstanding accomplishments lately, but not without hard work and courage.  After a near death dual flight to Hillsboro, I attempted a solo long cross country flight to Roseburg, even though I have never flown south of Eugene before.  The flight could not have gone any better.  My private pilots license is extremely close to being obtained, and then the real flying begins. I just hope I get my license before the dough runs out. 

On the other side of the world-school of course, things have been going swell.  I am officially over half way through my junior year, and I cannot wait to pursue a second bachelors degree- if that is what life has in store for me.  ROTC life has been uneventful, but is looking promising to continuing on in the program.  Work has been great too-well the lack of it at least. 

Anyways, life has been offering the ups and downs out like they are going out of style.  But, so far I am taking them one at a time, attempting to rise above the mist.  Never give up on anybody, miracles happen every day. 

I’m not exactly sure why the picture above was chosen for this post but it’s all about using your imagination to interpret the meaning. 

It’s officially 2012, and a little under 4 months until I will have had this blog for one year.  When that time comes around, I’ll do a year in review.  But for now, it’s a new year, a new term, and a new day. 

This term will undoubtedly go down in the history books as one of my toughest terms yet.  Although, I may have said that in the past.  Sometimes history repeats itself.  Knock on wood that it won’t come April 1st or so.  But, if it does, I will live on, and I will be happy with the life I’ve been given.  No matter what lies ahead, life will be exceptional, with the inevitable diversions from the path of course.  This term will also go down as one of the most fun terms I’ve had.  I started the new year with a set of goals for this term, ranging from studying harder than last term, to some things that probably would be better off being left to the imagination ;).  Yeah I just did that.  Anyways, life is about to get interesting.

Some very amazing things have been happening in my life.  Including forming friendships with some ridiculously unique individuals, surpassing 40 flying hours with over 180 landings, and experiencing some of the most enjoyable moments in time with my friends and family.  I’ve learned recently that beauty lies within.  It is something that I’ve frequently pondered, but until now, it has never been more true in my own life. 

I’m pushing myself to handle more, and to be more.  So far, so good.  But, if life happens like life happens sometimes, stumbles lie ahead.  I can only hope that I’ll be smiling when I fall so that getting up will be easier. 

YOLO, NLH.

Something has come up in the past couple weeks that surfaces an important lesson that everyone should take to heart.  Two people I once knew are now in a better place; looking down smiling, and watching over. 

While final grades for Fall 2011 have come out, and in the midst of winter break, I’ve been reminded of the importance of living every second like its my last.  It is important to tell people what you want to tell them, before its too late.  Whether that’s “I love you”, or “I miss you”, it needs to be said as often as necessary.  Necessary is when a person doesn’t need a reminder to know how you feel.  You only live once, so take chances, and let the words out.  As I found out the hard way, if you wait to speak up, you might miss your chance at something special. 

Final grades for Fall 2011 were exceptional, but .01 point short of outstanding.  I’m irritated, but not gonna let .01 get to me.   Winter break has been swell, just riding the highs and lows of life. 

YOLO, so NLH and get out there and take chances. 

Well I found the motivation.  It wasn’t easy, but then again it wasn’t all that hard.  It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, and that’s all for good reason. 

I found the motivation to push on, and I passed my physical training test near perfect.  I give a lot of credit to a good friend AR for giving me the insight to do so well.  It’s a complicated process, but it worked flawlessly. 

So now onto what’s next.  Well it’s almost December, which means Fall term is almost over.  I’ll push through finals and do my best.  And with the end of Fall term comes winter break.  Hopefully I’ll get back up in the air-with a new flight instructor, weather permitting.  Otherwise, I’ll make trips to see friends and family, and just enjoy life.  Hopefully, with the exception of spring break, winter break will be the last time I’ll be able to relax before field training.  Academia this term has thrown me a lot of amazing thing, with some struggles.  Overall, I’m happy with the term.  Which is to be expected when all I do is sleep, workout, study, eat, repeat.  Basically. 

Although I wonder sometimes, I still have my deep desire to help others, and to dream big, regardless of anything or anyone.  Being a junior complicates life a little more than in the past, but it just makes the light at the end of the tunnel burn brighter. 

While I won’t know my fate for another term, it’s almost time to throw in the chips, and flip the coin.  As always, I’ll NEVER LOSE HOPE. Whatever happens, happens. 

Everything is so much easier said than done.  I’ve lost a little of my motivation to work out and to do the things I need to do in order to get in shape.  I’ve been slacking.  And if I keep slacking, I’ll have no one to blame but myself for my failure.  I’m not sure where I’m going to get this motivation and determination from, but I’ve got to find something to cling onto.  Time is running out, and I officially have less than one month to get my act together. 

So where do I turn? Who do I look up to? What is going to make me do what it needs to take? My wingman has already let me down, apparently not taking me very seriously with my requests to help me do what I need to do to get where I need to be.  I have to find that desire, and that fuel to fire the fire inside that makes me just do it.  I’m in trouble of throwing everything away.  I’m in trouble of doing this all for nothing.  I don’t want to waste my time, and my energy on something that will never get me anywhere.  I don’t want to keep getting up early, when I could have slept for hours longer.  I don’t want to go back to just being a normal, ordinary college student with nothing except school to worry about. 

Well then, I guess I need to get my act together.  I’m not sure how.  But there’s got to be a way through all this gray.  Life is ok, but even if it wasn’t, what does that mean? That doesn’t give me a free pass to not work hard, or to eat that milkshake I don’t need.  Even if I get up at 6am Monday through Friday, there’s someone out there getting up at 5am every single day, most likely hating their life ten times more than I act like I hate mine. This life isn’t even forever, just here until things change a little.  I need to give my best.  But is my best what I really want? Although, who cares what I want? What matters is what I need to do.  Not what I want to do. 

Lets just hope I can find something to get me through this next month.  Yes, lets just hope.  With hope, anything is possible.